ネズミ [ Nezumi ]

Please leave your comments and constructive criticism for my portrayal of Nezumi here. I welcome anything positive, from "you're doing this well" to "I think you could do this better". Negative crit is welcome as long as it is polite. Please leave a detailed explanation of the aspects I should work on. I do not welcome anything rude. You can also leave comments about plotting here.

Anon is off, as I do prefer concrit from a known source, but feel free to use a sockpuppet if you must. No flames. Comments are screened.